"Even though I'm retired, I plan to stay active," said Belle, whose degenerative hip disorder forced him out of baseball this spring.  "The Rascal™ helps me keep a dynamic lifestyle, whether I'm doing work in the yard, dodging batteries people throw at me, or trying to run over trick-or-treaters at Halloween.  I'm a little rascal on my little Rascal™."

Belle is the first high-profile celebrity to endorse the Rascal™, and the company is excited about the potential exposure he could generate for the product.  "Albert is a ticking timebomb," explained EMC sales manager Mark Ostrov in a written statement.  "He's incredibly volatile.  One minute he's a pleasant, gentle soul, and the next, he's got you by the throat, screaming at you to turn the air conditioner down.  He could snap at any moment.  And when he does, he'll do it on a Rascal™ brand scooter."

Ostrov was busy contacting his lawyer and was unavailable for comment.