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Cardinals
Clinch NL Central The St. Louis Cardinals clinched the NL Central Division Championship on Wednesday with an 11-6 win over the Houston Astros at Busch Stadium. It is the team's first division championship since 1996. Immediately following the game, Cardinals players dedicated this season's success to Busch beer. "The family of Busch beers has been a refreshing part of American life for nearly half a century," said first baseman Mark McGwire. When asked how it felt to be going to the playoffs, McGwire replied, "If easy drinking Busch Light is part of the festivities, it's sure to be a blast." "Introduced nationally in 1990, BUSCH Light is one of the top-selling brands in the country today," gushed elated team manager Tony LaRussa. "If you've tried BUSCH Light, you already know why it's so popular."
The Cardinals made several moves since the last season in order to put together a winning franchise. The team signed free agent pitcher Pat Hentgen and traded for expensive talent like Edmonds, pitcher Darryl Kile, second baseman Fernando Vina, and first baseman Will Clark, all of whom were being unloaded by their former teams due to salary considerations. "They were all quality moves," said GM Walt Jocketty, "and quality is what you've got to expect from the Busch name." When asked why Busch Light was being promoted so heavily by the team, Jocketty responded, "Well, promotions mean sales, and sales mean revenue, and revenue means payroll. You figure it out." Seattle Mariners shortstop/impending free agent Alex Rodriguez was busy drinking several thousand complimentary cases of Busch Light and was unavailable for comment. |
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