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Elsinore Brewery to Purchase Blue Jays

Canadian-based Elsinore Brewery announced last week that it has made an offer to purchase the Toronto Blue Jays for an estimated $78 million.  The deal was brokered by Elsinore co-CFOs Robert and Douglas McKenzie.

"Coo roo coo coo coo roo coo coo," said Douglas McKenzie at a recent press conference.  "G'day, eh."

The native Canadians told the press that they have been planning this purchase for a long time.  "We got a lot of cash left over from that time we found a mouse in a beer bottle," said Douglas McKenzie.  "Plus we got a couple million dollars deposit back for returning all those stubbies."


Robert (left) and Douglas McKenzie

The McKenzies didn't seem to mind that they would be purchasing a team that is in direct competition with the New York Yankees.  "They're hosers," said Robert.  "Hey, Steinbrenner, take off, you knob!"

"Maybe we can hork a wildcard,"  added Douglas.

The brothers said they were planning to make some changes to the franchise.  "We're gonna change the team name, eh?" said Douglas.  "We're gonna call them the "Hoseheads", and we'll make our dog the mascot, 'cause his name's Hosehead, eh?"

The McKenzies also announced plans to name former hockey great Jean "Rosie" La Rose team manager.  They then cut the press conference short, saying that Robert had to take a leak so bad he could taste it.

In order to get better acquainted with the Blue Jays, the McKenzies invited several players to tour the Elsinore brewery.  Unfortunately, pitcher David Wells fell into a beer vat and was forced to drink his way out.  Wells was unharmed, and even assisted in putting out a fire in the main building of the brewery.


Wells (top)

Before the sale can be finalized, it must first be approved by the MLB owners and by Elsinore CEO/Head Brewmeister Adolph Smith.  Smith was busy contaminating the world's beer supply and was unavailable for comment.
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