Selig to Star in New Video Game

"SuperCommish 2003" Hits Stores in May

In a press conference yesterday, Isotope Games announced the release of a new action/adventure, role-playing sports simulation game that immerses you in the exciting world of the MLB commissioner's office. Players take on the role of MLB Commissioner/ Geritol addict Bud Selig, leading the erstwhile commish through a storyline based on the actual struggles Selig has to go through each and every day, including dealing with the Player's Union, appeasing angry fans, and battling sword-wielding talk-radio cyborgs.

CyberSelig

"My favorite level is when you have to secretly navigate around the office and collect pieces of a new Luxury Tax proposal, while dodging shuriken throwing stars and poison-tipped blow darts from Player's Union ninja assassins," said Selig while playing a pre-release demo. "The big boss at the end of the game is Don Fehr, and in order to defeat him you have to assemble the laser-guided submachine gun with chainsaw attachment. You'll have to buy the strategy guide just to find all the pieces!"

Other levels in the game include "Escape From Miller Park," which requires you to guide CyberBud out of a luxury suite and safely to his car while dodging broken beer bottles and D-batteries after calling the All-Star Game a tie. There's also a "Steel Cage Match" with former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura after Bud tries to contract the Minnesota Twins, and the "Montreal Carpet Bombing" mission in which Bud commands an elite squad of fighter jets in an attempt to wipe out all remaining Expos fans so the team can move to Washington D.C.

"Hopefully, when people play this game they will empathize with the hazards I have to face every day." said Selig. "For example, if you propose greater revenue-sharing, Steinbrenner's media stormtroopers bombard you with propaganda and hand grenades. If you attempt to reinstate a permanently-banned player, the Hall of Fame Veterans Committee attacks you with their walkers, oxygen tanks and golf carts."

Selig went on to detail a special early-bird purchase program. "The first 1000 people who pre-purchase the game from Amazon.com will receive authentic, limited edition, collectors copies of actual hate mail, death threats, and charred effigies sent to me over the years."

Selig also mentioned plans for a SuperCommish franchise. "We're developing some sequels like 'SuperCommish 2: Vice City' and a first-person shooter called 'Union Hunter dot Hack'. And there's even talk of a live-action movie starring Ben Affleck. I've got my fingers crossed!"

Affleck was busy filming "Ziggy: The Motion Picture" and was unavailable for comment.