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Players' Union Agrees to Think about Possibly Setting a Strike Date, MaybeIn a move that can obviously be seen as a passive-aggressive, non-threatening ultimatum, the MLB Player's Union unanimously agreed in a meeting last week that they would start thinking about setting a date for a player's strike, and that they would consider voting on whether they should vote to think about that date.
"If the owner's don’t relax their rigid stance, then it may force us to actually do something. I'm not sure what that action will be yet, but the owner's should know that we're thinking real hard about that too." MLB Commissioner/sidewalk Rolex dealer Bud Selig reacted with surprising calmness. "Wise in the ways of the union he is, but much to learn of negotiations he does," said Selig in a gravelly voice. "Much fear I sense in him and his players. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to a 50% luxury tax, and larger profit sharing." Selig closed his remarks by crouching into a fighting stance and saying, "Begun, this collective bargaining war has." "The owners need to acknowledge just how much we've thought about this," said Atlanta Braves pitcher/player's union rep Tom Glavine. "We've thought the hell out of this process, and we're not afraid to think some more about it. Actually setting the date is a last resort, of course. But the fact that we are thinking about it so much should have the owner's seriously thinking about what we are thinking about doing next." Glavine continued, "All the thinking lately has been on more of an individual level. We could get more players together, and have whole groups of people thinking about a strike. Man, that's dangerous. I'll tell you, that the last thing the owner's want is a big group of players thinking about a strike. Hell, we might even get together and brainstorm. Oh yeah, that's it. I think that's what we'll talk about at our next meeting. When we're not thinking about a strike, of course." MLB fans were busy preparing for their fantasy football drafts and were unavailable for comment. (Story by Jeremy Wilhm) |
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