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Blockbuster Trade Shakes MLB Deadline Swap Called "Deal of the Century"
Padres GM Kevin Towers was just as excited. "Yee-Haw! Maybe now I can sign Garth Brooks, too!" said Towers while riding a mechanical bull. The impact of this deal can be felt across both leagues, and many GMs are kicking themselves for allowing it to happen. "I didn't even know Meadows was on the market," wept Reds GM Jim Bowden. "If I had, I would have done everything in my power to get him. We're talking Griffey, Pokey Reese, and an 'anything goes' night with me." "I offered Juan Gonzalez, Bobby Higginson, and Brian Moehler for Witasick, and he (Baird) laughed at me," lamented Tigers GM Randy Smith while teetering on a ledge outside his twelfth-story office window. "I'm a joke, both in my job and in my life. Why not take the easy way out?" Other GMs were not so lucky. "The master does not suffer fools gladly," shrieked Yankees GM Brian Cashman while being roasted on a spit by Yankees owner/male prostitute George Steinbrenner. "While I was concentrating on acquiring nobodies like Denny Neagle and David Justice, I let Witasick and Meadows slip through my fingers. I failed the master, and now I must pay the price." Steinbrenner was choking on Cashman's left quadricep and was unavailable for comment.
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