|
|
|
|||
Vaughn
Endorses
|
| "I am pleased to be associated with this honorable program," said Vaughn. "I feel I can really enhance children's lives by letting each boy and girl experience what it feels like to talk just like a major-league baseball player. By the time they're playing in little-league, each child should know how to really flip sh*t at an umpire, or punk down a f*cking p*ssy-*ss, mealy-mouthed, one-day-a-week pitch-bitch." |
|
H.O.P. spokesperson Velma Baston was also present at the press conference. "We have come to accept that the vast majority of children grow up without being exposed to the kind of profane trash-talk they will experience in real life." Baston continued, "We feel it is appropriate for kids to know how to lay down some smack, and, with proper eloquence and diction, serve up verbal bitch-slaps to their classmates and teachers."
Some of the phrases taught in Vaughn's new program will teach kids include "Who the f*ck is Troy Percival?", "You're just a little bitch from the bullpen," "You ain't done sh*t to be talking about anybody," "I got hardware," "They ain't got no f*ckin' flags hanging at f*ckin' Edison Field, so f*ck them," and "Sh*t, my f*ckin' elbow hurts."
Troy Percival was busy looking up the word "expletive" in the dictionary and was unavailable for comment.
Write us at spitterbaseball@juno.com
© 2002, The Spitter
